Congratulations. You have made the decision to mediate your divorce or other family law issue. Mediation, a form of alternative dispute resolution, involves meeting with a third party neutral, the mediator, who acts as a facilitator to help both parties reach a mutually beneficial solution to their problems. Follow the five tips below for a more successful mediation process.
KEEP AN OPEN MIND
Listen for points that you both have in common and be open to suggestions for a resolution by either your partner or the mediator.
FOCUS ON INTERESTS NOT POSITIONS
A position is a someone’s opinion of the problem. An interest is something that is important to a person. During the mediation process, the mediator will help you both discover common interests. For example, you may not agree with your spouse on the specific days and times of a parenting/visiting schedule, but you have the common interest of your children’s happiness and welfare. By working towards a solution for your children’s best interest as opposed to each other’s position, there is a higher likelihood that each of you will arrive at a successful parenting plan.
LOOK FOR SOLUTIONS RATHER THAN A WIN
Mediation is not about winning or losing. It is about compromising and discovering solutions beneficial to both parties. When people focus on winning, mediation will not be successful and the dispute may end up in Court. The Judge, not you, will decide the terms of your divorce or other family dispute.
MANAGE EMOTIONS
Emotions often run high during divorce or other family law dispute. This is normal and it is not healthy to ignore your feelings. However, in order for any mediation to be successful, it is important to manage your emotions, and make your decisions using logic. If you are having a difficult time coping with your feelings during the course of the mediation, seek out support through family, friends, or other appropriate avenues.
BE PATIENT
Allow the process time to work. Some issues may be solved in one or two sessions. More complex matters may take longer. Remember, your problems did not happen overnight so do not expect a solution in the first 30 minutes of mediation.
The benefits of mediation are many. If you would like to consider whether mediation is right for you, contact Fleischer Law Solutions, PLLC for a consultation.